There comes a moment in every trader’s life when he looks at his charts, looks at his bank account, looks at the blinking red and green numbers on the screen, and says:

“I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.”

For me, that moment lasted approximately 17 years.

But I’m happy to announce that those dark days are finally over.

I, Kevin Katovic, have officially perfected what I am calling the Bucket Full of Fists Algorithm™.

It is revolutionary.

It is sophisticated.

It is completely impossible to explain to anyone with a financial degree.

And, most importantly, it appears to work significantly better when I stop listening to people who actually know what they’re talking about.

The Birth of the Bucket

The Bucket Full of Fists Algorithm began during one of my more advanced trading sessions.

I had seven monitors running.

One was displaying Bitcoin.

One was displaying Chinese markets.

One was displaying a stock chart.

One was displaying another stock chart.

One was displaying a YouTube video about technical analysis.

One was displaying a picture of a bucket.

And the seventh monitor was accidentally displaying the Windows calculator.

Naturally, I immediately realized I had discovered something.

I started writing down every number I could find.

RSI?

Write it down.

MACD?

Write it down.

Volume?

Write it down.

Bitcoin price?

Obviously.

Chinese exchange rate?

Absolutely.

Number of fists that could theoretically fit inside a bucket?

Extremely important.

After approximately six hours of research, I had created my first trading formula:

BUY = FISTS × BUCKET ÷ COMMON SENSE

Unfortunately, I had no common sense available, so the equation simplified beautifully.

Why China?

At some point I realized that I had been making a terrible mistake.

I had been trying to understand Wall Street.

This was exhausting.

Every morning there were analysts saying things like:

“Markets are pricing in a 37-basis-point probability adjustment based on forward guidance.”

I don’t know what that means.

Nobody knows what that means.

I certainly don’t have time for it.

So I decided to simplify my trading strategy.

I exclusively trade with the Chinese now.

Why?

Because if you’re going to trade internationally, you might as well go straight to the source of approximately 1,000,000 things you don’t understand.

Chinese markets move.

Chinese technology moves.

Chinese crypto traders move.

And occasionally, my browser moves into Chinese characters and I have no idea what I’m looking at.

That’s when I know the algorithm is working.

Crypto Changed Everything

Then I discovered crypto.

This was the missing ingredient.

Traditional finance asks:

“What are the fundamentals?”

Crypto asks:

“What if everybody just gets really excited at the same time?”

Now we’re talking.

I began combining my Bucket Full of Fists Algorithm with Bitcoin, Ethereum, various altcoins, and approximately 47 tokens whose names I cannot pronounce.

My strategy became incredibly sophisticated.

If Bitcoin went up:

BUY.

If Bitcoin went down:

BUY THE DIP.

If Bitcoin went sideways:

BUY THE SIDEWAYS.

If somebody on social media posted a rocket emoji:

DOUBLE THE POSITION.

If somebody posted a bear emoji:

IGNORE THEM.

And if someone posted a chart with seventeen indicators on it?

I immediately closed the browser.

That person was trying to complicate things.

The Actual Algorithm

People constantly ask me how the Bucket Full of Fists Algorithm works.

It’s actually very simple.

First, I take a bucket.

Then I imagine it is filled with fists.

Not metaphorical fists.

Actual fists.

Then I ask myself:

“How bullish does this bucket feel?”

If the bucket feels bullish, I buy.

If the bucket feels bearish, I wait.

If the bucket feels confused, I check Bitcoin.

If Bitcoin is also confused, I check China.

If China is confused, I check the weather.

If the weather is bullish, I buy.

This is what Wall Street has spent decades trying to accomplish with computers.

I accomplished it with a bucket.

Risk Management

Naturally, everyone wants to know about risk management.

I have developed an incredibly disciplined system.

I never risk more than I can afford to lose.

Unfortunately, I can apparently afford to lose considerably more than I previously thought.

Still, discipline is discipline.

I also employ something called The Three-Fist Rule.

If a trade goes against me, I don’t panic.

I simply raise three imaginary fists toward the chart and say:

“Come on, Kevin. You knew this was going to happen.”

Then I close the position.

Usually.

Sometimes I open another one.

That’s called advanced risk management.

The Future

My future plans are extremely ambitious.

I intend to continue trading crypto while maintaining my exclusive relationship with Chinese markets.

I’ve also considered expanding into commodities.

I’m particularly interested in copper because it looks like something that would fit nicely into a bucket.

Gold is also interesting.

Silver is interesting.

Lithium is interesting.

Basically, if it can theoretically be placed inside a bucket, I am willing to consider trading it.

I’m also developing Bucket Full of Fists 2.0.

The new version will incorporate artificial intelligence.

The AI will examine:

• RSI
• MACD
• volume
• support
• resistance
• Chinese markets
• Bitcoin
• market sentiment
• lunar activity
• bucket fullness
• fist density

The AI will then produce one of three recommendations:

BUY

SELL

ASK KEVIN

I already know which one will be the most popular.

Final Thoughts

After years of studying markets, losing sleep, staring at charts and pretending I understood what analysts were talking about, I have finally found financial enlightenment.

I no longer need 400-page economic reports.

I don’t need seventeen CNBC analysts screaming at each other.

I don’t need a Bloomberg terminal.

I don’t even need to understand half the terminology.

I need a bucket.

I need some fists.

I need crypto.

And apparently, I need to keep a very close eye on China.

So if you see me sitting in front of seven monitors at three in the morning, surrounded by cryptocurrency charts, Chinese market data and an unusually large plastic bucket, don’t worry.

I’m not having a breakdown.

I’m conducting quantitative research.

The Bucket Full of Fists Algorithm is alive.

The Chinese are trading.

Crypto is moving.

The bucket is full.

And for the first time in my trading career, I finally know exactly what I’m doing.

Probably.

— Kevin Katovic